Back Into My Arms
by darkin520
Summary: A seaQuest holiday story. Kristin and Nathan are reunited after the events of Hyperion. This can be a companion piece to 'In Another Universe' and 'Uninvited', but it can also stand on its own. Clears up certain canon continuity issues. Post-third season. One-shot. *COMPLETE*


**A/N: It's that time of year again: the holidays. So it's also that time when I like to write a holiday-themed story. I'm posting this a little early because this is a very busy time for me, but I didn't think you'd mind. **

**A little set-up for the story is that it's post-third season. It can be yet another companion piece to both 'In Another Universe' and 'Uninvited', especially for those of who want to see a happier ending to both of those stories. However, it can also stand on its own. For those of you who are not familiar with the fandom, what you need to know is that **_**seaQuest **_**and its crew were missing for ten years because of an alien abduction. Kristin had never returned for the second tour, so she never really knew what had happened. The world is now involved in a conflict with the Macronesian territory. But it doesn't mean these two never could have reunited, right?**

**As far as canon or AU, well, since this is post-third season, I really don't think that there's anything to dispute it canon-wise, but you may call it what you like. Thank you.**

**Back Into My Arms**

"_Back into my arms, _

_Where for you my heart beats strong_

_And the homefires keep the hearth warm,_

_Where forever you belong."_

_-Elise and Helen from Douglas Larche's Angels in the Snow!_

It was a week before Christmas, and Nathan Bridger stood in the middle of a banquet hall in New Cape Quest; naturally, it was decorated for the holidays, a large tree in the front of the room with white lights, a star at the top. There was garland and holly strung along the walls and even the traditional mistletoe hung up in the foyer. He sighed in frustration. "Why did I let you rope me into this?" he asked his friend and former superior, Bill Noyce.

"Because you wouldn't let anyone throw a party a few months ago. Besides, under the circumstances, the brass was questioning whether or not to have a Christmas party this year; didn't seem like there was much to celebrate, in their opinions. But when I called up McGath and suggested we do it in honor of your retirement, they agreed," Bill explained. "And you missed my retirement party, and I will not let you miss your own. So I suggest you put a smile on and enjoy yourself. You have a lot of people coming to see you, you know."

Nathan frowned. He did know that, but he didn't want a fuss made over him. His retirement wasn't exactly a happy one. After the experience in Hyperion (which he couldn't share with anyone other than the other crew members that were there, by the way), he found that the world was in disarray. Had _seaQuest_ never left, would it have been the same? He couldn't say, but from what he was told, Alexander Bourne became President of Macronesia shortly after the _seaQuest_ was in space. He had strong oppositions to the sanctions of the UEO, so he thought he'd show them that…by force. Bourne overtook a new territory nearly every day.

War was not something Nathan embraced, and Bourne was someone that couldn't be reasoned with. Not only that, the Chaodai had recently risen up. The Chaodai were far more formidable and far more violent than the Macronesians. The concern of the Chaodai was more about territory and borders. They didn't want the UEO or the Macronesians near them, so they attacked. The UEO refused to call it a war, but that's what it was: war. Nathan wanted no part of it.

Not only that, he had something more important in his life: his grandson, Michael. When he'd come to at the American Embassy in Belgium, they handed the boy over, telling him Michael's mother had left him there. That meant Robert was alive. Nathan had never believed his son had died, but Michael was living proof. Where had Robert been all these years? Nathan didn't have an answer to that, but he was determined to find him, to make things right, and to reunite what was left of his family. He'd been searching for two months now, leaving Michael in the care of a nanny. But he always made sure he was home every weekend; Michael seemed to understand. This time, Nathan was home for two weeks; he'd told Michael he wouldn't go back out into the water until after the New Year.

The two weeks was to spend time with his grandson and enjoy the holidays, not for UEO parties, which he really wanted no part of.

Bill pulled Nathan out of his thoughts again. "My God, Nathan; you look like you're going to a funeral. Come on; I see Lucas over there with Tony Piccolo and Manilow Crocker. Let's go say hello."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Well, that was a plus, seeing a lot of the past crew members. He and Lucas planned a post-holiday get-together, and he enjoyed speaking with Crocker, whom he hadn't seen since shortly after the first tour. Even Oliver Hudson had come to pay his respects. Nathan took a glass of champagne from a waiter's tray and walked to one of the nearby tables to sit. He watched the guests talking, laughing. There was one person he hoped to see, but didn't. Of course, he wasn't holding his breath either.

He and Kristin had parted ways years before. He'd regretted that day ever since. She'd gotten a job elsewhere; it was some newly developed underwater colony. The reason? Well, she didn't give a specific reason exactly. She had simply said_, "I think it's best for everyone involved."_ He took a generous gulp of champagne as the painful memory came flooding back to him.

_He and Kristin had grown close over the course of __**seaQuest's **__first tour. Even in the wake of the explosion, they'd found solace and comfort in one another's arms. While he was overseeing the building of the second boat, he'd invited Lucas to stay with him; but he also wanted Kristin with him as well. They'd talked, decided it was best for Lucas that she get an apartment across town. They still saw one another every day, so it was a good compromise. _

_Kristin, Nathan, and Lucas always had a surrogate parent/child relationship, even before Nathan and Kristin became a couple. But after Nathan and Kristin became closer, Lucas became concerned. Having been starved for attention from his own parents, he couldn't handle being pushed aside by the only other people he cared for most in his life. He felt threatened by the blossoming relationship between Nathan and Kristin, and he told them so._

_Nathan and Kristin did their best to talk to him, tried to tell him nothing was going to change. He and Kristin pursued their relationship slowly, being sure that Lucas was included as much as possible. For a little while, everyone seemed happy. But things changed, apparently. Nathan didn't even know Kristin was considering another job. She'd been working in the UEO labs until the second __**seaQuest **__was finished. Then she was to resume her position as CMO._

_The day she'd broken the news to him, he was angry. No, he was __**furious**__. It wasn't the fact she'd gone looking for another job. He could have handled that. It was the fact she'd kept it from him. They'd never kept secrets from one another before that. Why did she start then? _

_He'd asked her the same questions then that he was asking himself now. The only answer she'd given him was, "It's for the best." That's when he'd snapped. He'd told her it was over._

"_If that's the way you feel," she had said, her voice trembling. She had stood there for a moment, waiting for him to change his mind._

_But he didn't. He was too angry. The last thing he'd heard was a soft sob escaping her throat and the slam of the door._

Nathan downed the rest of the champagne in his glass. A nearby waiter must have sensed his need for another and offered him a fresh glass. Nathan took another gulp, but he then noticed something at the front of the room. All eyes seemed to be turned toward that area, though he wasn't sure why. With his curiosity piqued, he stood up and moved towards where Bill was standing. He was speaking with Oliver Hudson and Secretary General McGath.

"I didn't think she'd show," Bill muttered, noticing Nathan's presence.

Nathan's eyes moved in the direction in which Bill had been looking, and then he saw her. His breath caught in his throat, and his mouth went dry, for standing there was Kristin. She was wearing a lovely hunter green strapless ball gown with a modest neckline. A long slit ran up the left side of the skirt, revealing her long, shapely legs as she walked. Her auburn hair was pulled back into an up-do, but a few tendrils had been allowed to escape, forming soft curls where they lay. She looked gorgeous; Nathan could think of no better word. Age had not withered her in the least. If anything, she'd grown more beautiful than when he'd see her last.

Nathan felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?" Bill asked him. "You're sweating, and it isn't hot in here."

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," Nathan assured him, never taking his eyes off the woman in question. He motioned to the glass in his hand. "This is probably the culprit."

He then turned his attention back to her; he watched her smile and greet the former crew members she'd known. She then came to stand before Lucas; she wrapped him in a warm embrace, and the two talked for what seemed like quite a long time.

Finally, Bill nudged him again. "Are you going to stand here all night watching her, or are you going to go and talk to her?"

Nathan finally turned to his friend. "What makes you think-"

Bill simply gave him a look. "Nathan, I know you. Besides, I'm sure she wants to see you."

Nathan gave him a questioning look.

"Just a hunch," Bill said. "Oh, look, there's Shelley; I haven't seen him in years. Good luck, Nathan." With that, Bill pushed past him and walked to the other side of the room.

Before Nathan could answer or go after him, he heard the melodic, accented voice he'd come to love all those years before.

"Hello, Nathan."

Nathan turned to her. "Kristin? Hello. What…what a surprise."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "I hope it's a nice surprise," she whispered in his ear. "I…I'm happy to see you."

As she broke the embrace, he nodded. "Oh, yes…I just didn't expect…"

"I had told Bill I was coming when he invited me weeks ago," she explained.

"But Bill never mentioned…"

"I asked him not to, so it wasn't his fault exactly."

"I see."

"Um, well, I have a few more people to say hello to, but perhaps you could save me a dance?"

"I'll look forward to it."

She gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "Good. See you later."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After dinner and several uncomfortable speeches, the dancing finally had begun. Nathan was disappointed that he hadn't seen Kristin since their short-lived reunion. He scanned the room for her, but didn't see her. He was almost worried she'd left when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

"Are you ready for that dance now?" she asked him.

He smiled and led her out on the dance floor; the two started swaying gently in time with the music.

"It's been a long time, Kristin," he finally said.

She nodded. "I'm so sorry I didn't contact you after… I wanted to, but…" she began. She sighed. "I'm sorry; this isn't as easy as I imagined it."

"Would it help if maybe we went for a walk? I'd imagine things would be a bit more private outside," he suggested. "I think we need to talk."

She nodded and allowed Nathan to lead her out into the warm night air. Several benches lined the sidewalk outside the banquet hall; Nathan sat down and ushered Kristin to do the same. Nathan could see she was suddenly nervous; there was a long, awkward silence between them.

Nathan decided to break up the tension. "Would it help if I went first?"

Kristin picked a non-existent piece of fluff from her dress and nodded.

"Can I ask why?"

"What?"

"Why did you leave? I thought you were happy."

"Nathan, I…I was… But it wasn't just me I had to worry about."

"What?"

She sighed. "Lucas needed you more than I did."

"Said who?"

She shrugged. "No one said it exactly, but I know that's how Lucas felt. You know how insecure he was about us back then."

"But we talked to him all the time, made sure he knew he wasn't going to be left behind."

"Telling him he won't be and showing him that are two different things," she pointed out. "Nathan, you know we weren't as attentive to him as we could be."

"Did he say something to you?'

"No. He never spoke to me about it directly, but you knew towards the end how angry he seemed to be with me. I took that as a cry for help," she replied sadly. "I'm not even sure he knew what the problem was. I just knew that if I stayed in the picture much longer, something awful was going to happen between us…and I don't mean you and me."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" Nathan asked after a moment.

"Because you and I both know you wouldn't have listened. You would have sat Lucas down and talked to him, questioned him about his behavior," she told him.

"And what's wrong with that?"

"He wouldn't have told the truth. And even if he did, you'd have lectured him about it."

"And again, I ask, what's wrong with that?" Nathan said again.

She sighed. "It wasn't the right thing for Lucas. That isn't what he needed."

"And you thought that you leaving was what he needed instead? That _I_ needed it?" It sounded harsher than he'd meant it.

"Nathan, I…I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know what else to do."

"Well, keeping secrets from me wasn't the best way to go about it."

"I know…and again, I'm sorry." She stood and walked a few feet away from him, her back turned to him.

Nathan watched her for several minutes. He wanted to wrap her in his arms, but there was still so much hurt, he couldn't bring himself to do it. But when he saw the gentle shake of her shoulders, he realized she was crying. He stood and approached her. "Kristin? I didn't mean…"

"No, you have every right to be angry with me," she said through her tears. "I've been angry with me ever since. I wanted to contact you so many times, but I just…" She let out a soft sob. "I was afraid, I suppose. And then, it seemed it was too late…" She cried softly again, covering her hand with her mouth to stifle the sounds. "You must hate me."

Nathan couldn't stand it any longer. He wrapped his arms around her. "Kristin, honey, please…don't cry. And, no, I don't hate you. I could never hate you; why would you think that?"

She didn't answer. Instead she buried her face in his chest and cried a bit harder, purging her pain and guilt.

Nathan could do little for her, but did his best to comfort her. After several minutes, her sobs subsided, however. When he thought it was safe, he released her and asked the same question again. "Now why would you think I hate you?"

"Because I'm disaster, Nathan. I have screwed up every romantic relationship I've ever had. And I've obviously done the same with you. You've already had so much hurt and pain in your past, and I've only added to it."

Nathan sighed. "No, Kristin, you are _not _disaster. And I don't see how you can blame yourself. I don't know about the last decade, but from what you've told me about your ex-husband, his infidelity couldn't possibly be your fault."

She shrugged. "You weren't there; you didn't see. Maybe if I'd done something differently…" she trailed off. "And there were other relationships since him; I've told you. I never seemed to do a very good job in the love department."

"You're way too hard on yourself," he noted.

"Be that as it may, there must be _something _wrong with me."

"Why did you come here tonight?" Nathan asked after a beat.

"I wanted to have a chance to explain. When I'd heard about what happened…that you were all missing... Nathan, I thought you were dead." Her voice became shaky again. "I had told myself that if, by chance, you ever came back, I had to at least see you one last time. I had to talk to you, explain things to you."

Nathan nodded. "I had hoped you'd come here tonight," he admitted. He took her hand in his. "I suppose I wanted the very same thing. Do you mind me asking what you've been up to for the last ten years?"

"Up until a couple of months ago, I was working in the Eirene Underwater Colony. With the Macronesian conflict, I decided it was time for a change."

"I see. So what have you been doing for the past two months?"

"I did a little work with Malcolm," she began quietly.

"Lansdowne?" Nathan felt his anger rise once again, though he wasn't sure why. He never thought to ask if she'd been attached to anyone else, though he couldn't help but notice that her left ring finger was empty.

She nodded. "He and I have remained friends over the years. Caesar…well, he's a grown man now. You'd never know it by looking at him that he was once that shy little boy that wouldn't speak. Well, Malcolm's still doing work on his island with dolphins. I've helped him when he's needed over the years."

Nathan didn't answer. He simply gave a slight nod.

"Nathan, Malcolm and I were never anything more than friends." She placed a hand on his cheek and pushed gently so he'd look at her. "In fact, save for a few blind dates here and there, there hasn't been anyone in my life…since you."

He gave her a look of shock. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I guess I didn't see the point. I've been staying in New Cape Quest while I decide on my next move. Bill…he got word of that, and he's been trying to talk me into working in the UEO labs again."

"You don't want to work for the UEO again?"

"Oh, I don't know. It's just that there isn't much use for research about sea sponges or algae. Any research that's done now will be used for war, and I don't like the thought. I'd be doing things like trying to figure out the best design for a subfighter. Oh, I'm sure they could use my medical expertise, but I shudder at the thought of the casualties I'd see." She paused for a moment. "Cynthia wants me to work with her. She's still the activist; she's still helping refugee children. I'm just not sure I want to be that close to all the conflict. I'm very proud of her, but I worry for her safety every day." She let out a sigh. "Me? I think I'm too old for that kind of thing."

Nathan gave a slight laugh. "I know exactly what you mean. Why do you think I've retired?"

"Bill told me about your grandson…and about Robert. He told me you've been looking for him."

Nathan nodded. "He stays with a nanny while I go out looking. I know it's not exactly an ideal situation, but…Michael seems to understand. He wants to see his father, too. And I am determined for us all to be together again. I come home every weekend, though."

"At least he knows he can depend on you. I hope you find your son very soon."

"Thank you; that means a lot to hear you say that."

There was another awkward pause.

"Kristin, I should be the one apologizing to you. I wanted to call you after… I wanted to hear your voice."

"Lucas told me you'd moved on…with your new CMO. Bill told me what happened to her, too. I am sorry," she said quietly.

"Lucas never mentioned you spoke to him."

"We e-mailed, wrote letters…well, until the disappearance anyway. I… Can I ask what happened? Bill said it was classified, but…"

He shook his head. "I'd rather not at this time. Maybe in the future?"

She nodded.

"Wendy and I…our romance was short-lived. I'm not even sure you could call it that. We were better as friends. She was sweet, loving…but she wasn't you."

Kristin blushed hotly. "You know…we've been out here a long time. They might be missing their guest of honor." She turned to walk back towards the door when Nathan grabbed her arm.

"Wait! I don't want you to go," Nathan told her. He suddenly realized he was still holding onto her arm; he released her and placed his hands on her shoulders instead. "Kristin, please, don't go?" he asked, his tone gentler this time.

"What is it you want?" She averted her gaze.

"Do you know what was on my mind three quarters of the time we were separated?" he asked her.

She shook her head.

He pointed a finger towards her. "You. I told myself that if I could only see you one last time, I'd tell you how I felt. Well, the universe has given me that chance, and I'll be damned if I'm going to screw it up again. Kristin, I love you. I have always loved you."

Kristin felt her eyes sting with tears again. "I love you too, Nathan."

"Then why are we doing this to ourselves?" he asked, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"I'm not sure. We had some things to clear up, I suppose," she said, laying her head on his shoulder.

Nathan sighed. "Well, I think we've done that. So how about we move forward?"

"But there are so many things that I'm unsure of yet. I don't even know where it is I'm going to be living. What if I decide-"

Nathan placed a finger to her lips. "Don't worry about that right now. How about we just worry about next week? What are your plans for the holidays?"

"Bill and Janet invited me for Christmas."

"What a coincidence. Me too," he said with a smile. "The rest? How about we play it by ear…as long as we're always open and honest with one another."

She smiled. "That's a promise I can keep."

Nathan then brought his lips to hers and kissed her, gently at first, but then the kiss deepened and lingered until the need for air became paramount.

"Mmm, that was nice," Kristin whispered in his ear. "I've missed that."

"I promise you, you'll never have to miss that again if I have anything to say about it," Nathan told her.

"I'll hold you to that," she told him and nuzzled against his neck. "Now take me back inside so we can finish that dance."

He gave her a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am."

**A/N: Have very happy and safe holiday. Thank you for reading.**

**Also, I want to explain that when Kristin says that she's disaster, that is intentional that there is no 'a' before it. It's a line from RENT that I've always liked, so I borrowed it. Thank you.**


End file.
